Nightmare
by They See Me Rollin' They Jelly
Summary: Ruthie Camden has been plagued with a bad memory for several years. Will the world ever find out about it?
1. Something to Celebrate

First fanfic on this account. :)

I originally had the story begin a few years earlier, but I've decided to begin it from here.

* * *

Excitement filled the air this particular February evening. Everyone but Lucy knew what was happening tonight, and it cracked Ruthie up to see her sister freaking out about this "surprise" Kevin had for her.

Ruthie was trying to hide her giggles from her sister, who was now putting on makeup and rambling about Roxanne. She knew Lucy was insanely jealous of Roxanne, but Kevin didn't care about her. They were nothing more than friends, if it weren't a familial relationship.

"Relax, Lucy. You do know Kevin loves you and-"

"Ruthie! Peter's here!" Simon called up the stairs.

"Well, I have to go. Please don't mess this up, Luce. This is a big night, you just don't know it yet."

"You know something, don't you? Spill!" Lucy demanded.

"Just relax. See you soon!" Ruthie left the attic room and headed quickly down the two flights of stairs to meet her best friend, Peter Petrowski.

"Sorry, Lucy's going insane tonight! I swear, I don't know _how _Kevin puts up with her."

"He clearly sees past insanity."

Ruthie laughed and put on her jacket.

"Are we ready to go?" Simon asked, coming down the steps.

"Yeah."

"All right, we're going to pick up Cecilia and then meet Mom and Dad at the hotel." Simon grabbed the keys off the counter and opened the door for Ruthie and Peter.

"Thanks for inviting me tonight." Peter said as they waited in the car while Simon got Cecilia.

"It's not a problem. You're my best friend, you deserve to be a part of this."

Peter gave Ruthie a quick peck on the cheek.

"You're my best friend too. I'm so glad you were the first person I met this year."

"Yeah..." Ruthie said quietly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Look, Simon and Cecilia are back!" Ruthie quickly changed the topic and attention to her brother and his girlfriend as they got into the car.

"Hey, Ruthie. Peter." Cecilia smiled back at them before buckling in.

"Are you excited for tonight?" Ruthie asked.

"Absolutely, how is Lucy doing?"

"She's going literally _insane_! It's hilarious."

"It is pretty funny, but it's annoying too." Simon said, putting the car into drive.

The drive to the hotel was pretty short and once they were there, the four of them got out and headed for the doors. On the way, Peter tried to take Ruthie's hand but she pushed him away.

"Ruthie?" Peter asked.

"I'm sorry." Ruthie choked out and ran inside, leaving Peter, Cecilia and Simon behind.

Cecilia found her several minutes later in the women's bathroom, crying.

"Ruthie, it's Cecilia."

Ruthie opened the stall door and looked up at her brother's girlfriend, her eyes filled with tears.

"Oh, Ruthie." Cecilia wrapped her arms around the younger girl.

"I can't do this any more, Cecilia. I have to tell someone and I'm just hurting Peter."

"What is it? How are you hurting Peter?"

"Something happened to me and-" Ruthie was interrupted by the bathroom door opening and an extravagantly-dressed woman walking in.

"Never mind." Ruthie sniffled and went over to the sink, turning on the cold water.

"You know you can talk to me."

Once Ruthie was done wiping her eyes and drying them, she turned to Cecilia and gave her a hug.

"Thanks, Cecilia."

"Is everything all right?" Simon asked once Cecilia and Ruthie appeared in the hotel's large hallway.

"Yeah, let's go see the others." Ruthie said, waiting for Simon to take the lead. Simon didn't push it any further and began making his way down the stairs to the room Kevin booked for the evening. According to what Ruthie heard from her parents, Kevin had gone all and out for tonight. He wanted this night to be special and memorable for Lucy. For them.

"Wow." Ruthie and Cecilia gasped once they opened the large wooden doors to the room.

"Kevin did all this by himself?" Peter asked.

"Yeah, pretty much."

A song was playing softly as the four of them walked down the steps to meet the Camdens and Kinkirks. They all exchanged greetings and took their seats. After half an hour, the doors opened up once again and everyone turned their heads to the top of the steps.

Lucy was wearing a beautiful sleeveless black dress that went down to her knees. She was wearing a pearl necklace, one Ruthie recognized as her Grandma Jenny's. She must have given it to Annie before she died.

Kevin stood and walked over to the bottom of the stairs, getting down onto one knee. Lucy's gasp could be heard throughout the spacious room and she stopped before Kevin.

"Kevin...?" She choked out.

"Lucy Camden, I'm so grateful to have met you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you beginning today. Will you marry me?"

"Yes! I'll marry you, Kevin Kinkirk! Oh." Lucy began crying and Kevin stood up, placing a ring on her finger. Ruthie could see the glimmering diamond from where she sat.

_How much did Kevin spend on all this? _She wondered.

Ruthie pushed that thought to the back of her mind as she stood up with her family and went over to congratulate the future Mrs. Kinkirk.


	2. Nightmare

Depiction of rape in this chapter, just a forewarning! Also, I've modified the first chapter, so please go back and re-read that. Thanks!

* * *

After many hours of celebrating, everyone decided to call it a night. Peter's mother picked him and Cecilia up, dropping Cecilia off before going home. Ruthie drove home with Simon while Annie and Eric drove back with Sam and David snoozing in the back seat.

"Did you have a good time tonight?" Simon asked Ruthie as they turned on their street.

"Yeah, I did!"

"Good. Do you want to talk about what happened when we arrived?"

"No, I don't." Ruthie crossed her arms and stared straight ahead.

Simon let out a sigh.

"Fine, but you know you can talk to me about anything."

Ruthie rolled her eyes.

"Oh, _please_. Like you've been there for me these past few years? You only care about yourself, you stopped caring about me a long time ago!"

Simon remained silent, parking the car and shutting off the engine.

"Ruthie, I can't believe you'd say that. I do care about you."

"Then show it more often." Ruthie snapped, unbuckling and getting out of the car.

"Ruthie!" Simon called after her, but she was already inside.

_Yeah, if he really cared, he would have figured it out. I gave him hints for over a year and half and every time I did, he was completely oblivious to it. He's always lost in his own little world._

She ran upstairs to her attic room almost in tears once again. Fortunately, Lucy wasn't back yet, so Ruthie let it all go. She changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed, crying herself to sleep.

_"Ruthie." His voice spoke. Ruthie slowly stirred and found her mouth was covered. Her eyes flew open and she could see him looking back at her._

_She tried to scream, but it just came out as a muffled noise._

_"The less you struggle, the sooner this will be over with. Promise me you won't scream?"_

_Ruthie nodded, her eyes open wide in terror._

_"Good." He said softly, pulling his hand from Ruthie's mouth. He then proceeded to pull the covers off and pulled down her pants._

_"Why are you doing this?" She asked, watching helplessly as he climbed on top of her._

_"You need to learn."_

_"Learn what?"_

_"To mind your own business. This may hurt a bit, but I'm only doing this because I care about you."_

_Ruthie scoffed, struggling to get out from under him._

_"You care?! You're gonna ra- r- ra-"_

_"Don't think of it as rape, Ruthie." He smiled and thrust inside her. Ruthie let out a gasp and screamed into her pillow._

Ruthie's eyes flew open and she let out a scream, breathing heavily. She began sobbing hysterically.

"Ruthie? Ruthie, what's wrong?" Ruthie could feel the weight shift on her bed as Lucy sat on it.

"Noth- nothing. Just a bad dream. It's ok."

"Are you sure? You seem pretty shaken up."

"Yeah, I'm sure. Go back to bed."

"All right. I'll be right here if you need me." Lucy stood and went back to her bed.

"Thanks, Luce." Ruthie said, wiping her eyes. She looked at the clock; it read quarter to five in the morning.

_I might as well get up._ Ruthie thought, throwing back the covers.

"What are you doing?" Lucy asked.

"Taking a shower."

"Now?"

"Yeah." Ruthie could tell Lucy wasn't going to let it go that easily.

"Lucy, really, it's fine. I just feel like taking a shower."

"Okay." Lucy lay back down and Ruthie grabbed a fresh set of clothes, going into the bathroom.

Once she was undressed, she stepped into the shower, letting the scorching hot water burn her body. Even after all these years, she still felt filthy. Ruthie could still feel his kisses and him inside her, violating her.

She let the tears roll freely as she began to suffocate from the steam.

_Ruthie, you need to tell someone. You're letting him rule the way you live._

By the time Ruthie was done showering and dressing, she had already decided that she'd tell Peter as soon as possible, but she needed to get him alone. Who knew if her family would believe her?

Ruthie found her mother in the kitchen when she came downstairs half an hour later.

"Morning, Ruthie. You're up early! I thought I heard you scream, is everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." Ruthie lied. "I'm going over to Peter's."

"It's only six in the morning."

Ruthie shrugged.

"Yeah, so? Besides, I know Peter wakes up early even on weekends."

"Well, why don't you call him first, to see if he's awake."

"Fine." Ruthie picked the phone off the receiver, dialing Peter's number. After two rings, she heard his mother answer.

"Paris Petrowski here." She announced.

"Hi, Paris, is Peter awake?"

"Yeah, he's sitting right here having breakfast. Do you want to talk to him?"

"Actually, I was wondering if I could come over."

"Sure, come on over."

"Thanks." Ruthie said and hung up. She then gave her mother a "I told you so!" look.

"Fine, go. Make sure you have breakfast."

"I will, bye!" Ruthie rushed out the door and hurried over to Peter's house, which was a three-minute's walk away.

She found Peter sitting on the steps, waiting for her. He stood up when he saw Ruthie approach his house.

"Ruthie. What's wrong?"

Ruthie let out a sigh.

"I need to tell you something."

Peter opened the door and let Ruthie in.

"Mom, can we use your office?"

"Sure, why?"

"Ruthie has to tell me something. And please, don't listen in." Peter warned his mother.

"All right. I won't!" Paris put her hand up and continued scrubbing the counter.

"So, what is it?" Peter asked once he and Ruthie were in Paris' office.

"I- I was raped." Ruthie blurted out. "When I was eleven."

Peter stared back in shock and after a minute, he found his voice.

"Who was it?"

"It was…"


	3. Grip

"Peter, please say something." Ruthie begged once she was done telling the story of her rape and how he'd come to live with her family for a year and half.

"I- Ruthie- How could you live with this? I can't believe you kept this to yourself for so long! You need to tell someone."

"I can't. My whole family loves him. They wouldn't believe me if I said he raped me. He also threatened me, he said he'd do it all again if I ever told anyone."

"No, that's not true. He's going to go to jail. Come on, we're going to get Kevin." Peter opened the door and took Ruthie's hand, ready to drag her back to the parsonage.

"Peter, please. I don't want to tell anyone. Not yet, anyways. And you have to promise not to tell anyone."

"Why?"

Ruthie took a deep breath.

"I need some time to think of the right thing to say to them."

"Right thing to say? There's only one way to say it!"

"I know, but they're not going to react well if I just come right out and say it. Please, Peter, promise?"

"Promise."

"Thanks."

"Have you had breakfast yet?"

"No, I had a bad dream, so I woke up early to take a shower. Then I came over here."

"Come on, my mom made some eggs and bacon."

"That sounds great!" Ruthie and Peter went into the kitchen.

"Is everything all right?" Paris asked, looking between them with concern.

"Yeah, everything's fine. So, you made eggs and bacon?"

"Yeah, would you like some?"

"I'd love some!" Ruthie smiled and sat down. Peter joined her at the table, looking at her with concern.

"Are you sure everything's all right?" Paris asked once again as she put a plate down in front of Ruthie.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Ruthie smiled, kicking Peter underneath the table.

Fortunately for Ruthie, Peter kept his word and didn't tell anyone about what Ruthie told him that day. He remained more overprotective of her, which annoyed her at times but she was really grateful for it. Simon didn't care about her anymore and Matt was in med school. It was nice to have someone watch over her for a change.

On the morning of Lucy's wedding, Ruthie overheard her mother's half of the conversation with Mary over the phone. Apparently, Mary said she was bringing a surprise guest and it wasn't Matt. Matt had to stay back in New York to prepare for a big exam. There weren't that many option as to who the "surprise guest" could be. The Camdens had a relatively small family and an even smaller group of friends.

Immediately after breakfast, Ruthie went over to Peter's house.

"Hurry back." Her mother had told her, still on the phone with Mary.

Peter opened the door and let Ruthie in.

"What's up? I thought I wasn't seeing you until later."

"You are, but I overheard my mom talking to my sister, Mary, over the phone."

"Okay?"

"She's bringing a surprise guest."

"Yeah, so?"

Ruthie glared at her boyfriend.

"_So_? There's only one possibility as to who it is, and it isn't Matt. He has to stay in New York, and we don't have many friends."

"Hey, you were the one that didn't want me to tell anyone."

Ruthie let out a sigh.

"I know."

"Look, there's going to be lots of people there. You probably won't even get to talk to him."

"Yeah, right." Ruthie scoffed.

"I'll be right by your side after the wedding. Don't worry about it."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Thanks, Peter. Well, I should really be getting home. I'll see you later."

"Sure, see you."

With that, Ruthie headed back home. When she got there, Annie was off the phone with Mary and cleaning up from breakfast.

"So, did Mary say who her surprise guest was?"

"No, she didn't. But I have a good feeling I know who it is. It'll be so nice to see him, it's too bad he left suddenly last fall."

"Yeah… Well, I should go get cleaned up."

Ruthie rushed up the stairs to her room, slamming the door shut behind her once she got there.

_I can't believe it! Ok, Ruthie, you have to calm down. Peter's right, maybe he won't even talk to you! It's going to be a busy evening and besides, you'll be with Peter and your family._

Pushing the worrying thoughts to the back of her mind, Ruthie readied for the shower. She had to behave normal, she wasn't going to ruin Lucy's wedding day. Lucy would never forgive her. Even if she said her ex-boyfriend raped her, most likely not. In fact, Lucy would say Ruthie was just trying to cause some drama.


	4. Wedding

The church was filled with people coming to see Lucy Camden wed. Very few of them were family members; such as the Colonel, Ruth, George, Hank, Julie, Grandpa Charles and Ginger; most were citizens of Glen Oak who have watched Lucy be brought home from the hospital a day after her birth to today, her wedding day. Even fewer were friends of Lucy from school, such as Shelby and Nicole.

Ruthie stood on one of the steps at the altar, waiting for Lucy to walk down the aisle in her beautiful wedding gown. Mary stood next to her, with flowers in her hand. Across from them stood Kevin, Ben and one of Kevin's friends from high school, Patrick.

Soon, the music began playing and everyone in the church stood to await Lucy's appearance. She came down the aisle in Robbie's arm, and Ruthie couldn't help but feel slightly sick. Lucy was smiling widely, completely oblivious to the monster she had her arms linked with.

_Ruthie, not now!_ She reminded herself.

Lucy and Robbie arrived to the altar and Robbie handed her off to Kevin.

"Take care of her." He told Kevin, who nodded in return. Robbie turned and sat in his seat next to Annie and the twins.

"We are gathered here today to join my daughter, Lucy Camden, and Kevin Kinkirk in Holy Matrimony. Before we begin, is there anyone here who thinks these two should not get married? Speak now or forever hold your peace."

The church remained in silence for a good minute before Eric nodded and continued.

"I remember when Lucy came home from the airport last year, she'd gone on a trip to Buffalo with my eldest daughter, Mary, and she met Kevin at the airport. I won't share her humiliating experience with you, but Fate had some play in this and not just Lucy's nuttiness."

Everyone laughed while Lucy glared at her father.

"Anyways, my wife and I have been very blessed to have gotten to know Kevin Kinkirk. We couldn't have asked for a better man to marry our daughter. Could I have the rings?"

Mary and Ben handed two gold bands over to Eric. Eric handed one to Lucy.

"Lucy, repeat after me: I, Lucy Camden, take you, Kevin Kinkirk, to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, for better or worse, through sickness and health, until death do we part."

"I, Lucy Camden, take you, Kevin Kinkirk, to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, for better or worse, through sickness and health, until death do we part." Lucy repeated, slipping the ring on Kevin's finger.

Eric then handed the other ring to Kevin.

"Kevin, repeat after me: I, Kevin Kinkirk, take you, Lucy Camden, to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, for better or worse, through sickness and health, until death do we part."

"I, Kevin Kinkirk, take you, Lucy Camden, to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, for better or worse, through sickness and health, until death do we part." Kevin smiled, slipping the ring on Lucy's finger.

"With the exchange of these vows, I'm pleased to announce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Lucy squealed and Kevin gave his new wife a kiss. Ruthie, among everyone else in the church, started applauding.

After Lucy and Kevin made their way down the aisle, exiting the church, everyone began to follow after them. Once outside, Ruthie caught up with her family.

"All right, Mary has agreed to drive Robbie, Simon and Ruthie to the reception. Sam and David will come with your father and I."

"Sounds good to me." Mary said. Simon and Ruthie followed their eldest sister to her car.

"You can have the front, Simon."

"Actually, can I go with Paris and Peter?" Ruthie asked, noticing Peter and Paris conversing with some of the other churchgoers.

"Do I know them?" Mary asked.

"No, but Peter's my friend."

"Sure, go ahead." Simon said, getting into the car.

"Thanks." Ruthie hurried off to catch up with Peter and Paris, who were on their way to the car now.

"Hey, Ruthie! Are you riding with us?" Paris asked, unlocking her car.

"Yeah, I hope that's ok."

"Perfectly fine with me." Paris smiled and got into the car. Ruthie and Peter got into the back seat.

"I was going to sit with him." Ruthie whispered in Peter's ear.

"Don't worry, I'm right here." Peter smiled.

"Thank you, Peter." Ruthie smiled back at her boyfriend.

The ride to the reception was a quick one. It was taking place at a park and there had been a large tent set up, one that could fit about a hundred people. Once Paris had the car in park and engine shut off, Ruthie and Peter jumped out.

"There you are! Did I say you could go running off?" Mary rushed over to them with hands on her hips.

"No, but Simon said I could ride with Paris and Peter. Oh, and this is Peter. Peter, this is my sister, Mary."

"Is everything ok?" Robbie asked, catching up to them.

"Yeah, Ruthie just gave me a bit of a scare." Mary let out a relieved sigh.

"Well, as long as she's okay, there's really nothing to worry about." Robbie said, smiling at Ruthie.

"Hey, I'm Peter." Peter cut in, holding out his hand for Robbie to shake.

"Robbie."

"I know, I've heard about you."

"Oh, really?" Robbie took his hand back and put it in his pocket.

"Yeah, Ruthie's told me what a... _great_ guy you are."

_Could you be any more obvious, Peter?_ Ruthie thought, glaring at him.

"Well, if she says so, it must be true."

"Look, I see Lucy and Kevin!" Ruthie ran over to the limousine, getting away from the chaos Peter had just caused. Mary joined by her side, waiting.


	5. Damaged

Warning: rape in this chapter.

* * *

Ruthie spent the evening close to her younger brothers and cousins. She was too angry to speak with Peter and didn't exchange another word with him after he let her secret slip. When it came time to eat dinner, Ruthie found she was too nervous to eat. She couldn't stop worrying about what Robbie would do or say, because she knew he'd put it together.

It wasn't until many hours later, in the middle of the night, that Ruthie woke to her stomach growling furiously. She looked at the clock; it read quarter to three in the morning. Ruthie let out a sigh and got out of bed, she knew it was her fault her stomach was completely empty, the last time she ate was at lunch over twelve hours earlier.

Ruthie opened the fridge to search for something worth eating, especially at this late hour. She found a bowl of cut-up fruit and pulled it out. After grabbing a fork, Ruthie made her way back up the stairs. She didn't want to be downstairs in the dark kitchen at night.

Before she had a chance to make her way up the second flight of stairs that would lead her to the attic, Ruthie found herself stopped by a hand going over her mouth. She nearly dropped the bowl of fruit, but held onto it instead. Once the hand pulled away, Ruthie turned around to see who'd stopped her.

It was Robbie, who put a finger to his mouth to indicate she should stay quiet. He then beckoned for her to continue to the attic, which she did with him following. Ruthie shakily put the bowl on her desk and quickly turned to face Robbie, who was shutting the door and locking it.

"What are you doing?" Ruthie asked frantically.

"We need to talk. You told your little friend about us, didn't you?" Robbie asked quietly, walking towards Ruthie, cornering her.

Ruthie shook her head.

"Ruthie, don't lie. Didn't I tell you not to tell anyone."

"Ye- yeah, but-" Robbie interrupted, by now he was in front of her.

"And do you remember what I said if you ever told anyone?"

After a few seconds, Ruthie nodded slowly. Robbie smirked and put his hand on her shoulder, leading her over to the bed. He lifted her up and threw her onto it.

"Robbie." Ruthie gasped. She reached for the blankets and tried to hide under them, but Robbie threw them back and pulled down her pants.

"No, please don't." Ruthie cried and Robbie quickly covered her mouth.

"You should have listened, Ruthie." Robbie said, pulling down his pants and climbing on top of her.

"Don't." Ruthie struggled, trying to get out from under her but he was too strong.

"Be quiet, it'll be over before you know it." Robbie whispered, placing kisses on her lips.

Ruthie shut her eyes, praying it'd be over soon. But it wasn't.

Ruthie woke the next morning to find Robbie gone. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, but flashes from the night before kept appearing. He spent about an hour in her bed; she remembered the time it began and the time it stopped. It lasted for fifty-seven minutes.

The thought of it made Ruthie sick to her stomach and she rushed to the bathroom, relieving what remained of the previous day's lunch. The disgusting taste of bile lingered in her throat as she tried to rinse her mouth out. She noticed she was crying and wiped her eyes with a damp cloth. After making sure she looked decent, Ruthie put on her robe and slippers.

"Good morning, Ruthie!" Annie said cheerily when Ruthie came down the steps. Upon seeing her youngest daughter, though, Annie's smile turned into a frown.

"Oh, Ruthie, you look terrible! Are you feeling all right?" Annie rushed over and felt Ruthie's forehead.

"You don't feel warm."

"I'm fine, really." Ruthie lied, taking a seat at the table next to David and Sam.

"You look really sick." David told her.

"Yeah." Sam agreed.

"I'm fine, you guys. So, has Robbie left?" Ruthie asked.

"Yeah, he had to catch an early flight back to Florida. Now go right back upstairs and get into bed. I'll bring up some soup after I get David and Sam their breakfast. Go on, go!"

"Fine, I'll go." Ruthie stood and rushed back upstairs.

Once in her room, Ruthie sat on her bed and picked up the phone. As she waited for an answer on the other end of the line, Ruthie kept thinking of what she wanted to say to Peter. She felt like she could go on forever with yelling at him.

"Petrowski residence." Paris answered.

"It's Ruthie, is Peter there?"

"Yeah, let me go get him. Hold on."

"Hey, Ruthie." Peter spoke a couple seconds later.

"I hate you. I absolutely hate you, you don't even want to know how much. This is all your fault."

"What?!"

"You know exactly what, Peter Petrowski. He knew, did you think he wouldn't figure it out? He isn't an idiot, unlike you. Now no thanks to you," Ruthie sighed, "it happened again. Over and over. An hour last night. I never want to hear from you again and don't you dare tell anyone about this. I mean it." With that, Ruthie hung up the phone without waiting for a reply.

* * *

A/N: I want it to be understood I love Robbie to the point where it's ridiculous. I also have loads of respect for Adam, who portrayed Robbie for three seasons.


End file.
